Goodness

His character to me is a mystery. There is no fear or sense of obligation that binds Him. He is bound by what He feels. He feels the desire to do good continually.

I am bound by a lack of money, fear of consequences, probably some stupidity, and yes, a desire to be good. What if all of a sudden I was a genius, a rich genius? What would I do with all those choices? Certainly I would choose a Range Rover, but would it stop there? Not sure, that’s the scary part.

Tonight I found some hope.

As I watched Jakey drift off to sleep there was for a moment when goodness seemed not so mysterious.

Work

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the word “Work”. I’ve been able to understand it better in terms of a direction. Work is moving your life in a forward direction. Rather it be working to be a successful whatever, or even more challenging, working through the moments in the mind when the big old natural man wants couch but the itty bitty spirit says go give everything you got to your son for the next 20 minutes. Moving in a downward direction towards the couch is certainly easier. Sometimes I actually muster enough strength to move my body over to Jakey’s room and watch him play as my mind melts away with “me” things.

I think work has a lot to do with faith. People of great faith are great workers. I guess you could say faith is the ability to continue moving forward when body and mind say (mostly scream) otherwise.

It is a constant temptation for me not to work. There have been so many missed opportunities to move my life in a forward direction.

Don’t keep missing them Danny, Tomorrow is such a beautiful word.

Becoming

I find it interesting that the equation 6am + golf = no problem, where as 6am + anything not golf = impossible.

I think we humans are really good at becoming. It’s just that sometimes we are really bad at becoming the right things. Rather we like it or not we are constantly becoming. Either I am becoming a good father or just a grown man that pays the bills, comes home for dinner, and leaves again in the morning.

Humans are creatures of habit. Great humans are creatures of good habits. These great humans I speak of have no super powers, there is no advantage above for example me a lesser human, they just want to become someone greater. Now hold on, I must give me and the other lesser humans some credit. I believe that most of us want to become something greater, but not at the expense of T.V. and sloth. I could say I am being too hard on myself, but am I? I only have one chance to become the person I came down here to become.

Someday when I pass beyond the clouds will I see my reflection and recognize who I became or will I shrink in disappointment.

Life is Hard

This past week I attended the funeral of Justin Barney. At the age of 10 Justin fell out of a truck, hitting his head, causing severe brain damage. He spent the next 31 years trapped in a paralyzed body.

My aunt Gail spent the next eleven thousand plus days taking care of her boy. She was trapped in a world that she never could have imagined. No longer could she watch her boy play baseball. She couldn’t catch him sneaking into the cookie jar. She couldn’t ask him for a hug.

There are others whom I love that are trapped in this world. My sister Genny has a daughter, Annalynn, who in this life will never dance or run in the grass on a summer day.

Justin, you now walk on the clouds. Aunt Gail, few have rendered such love to a son. Annalynn, someday you will dance with the angels. Genny, may you find the light when darkness is all you can see.

Danny, you have a lot of work to do to walk amongst such company.