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The thoughts and feelings are so different at the start of a vacation compared to the ones you have on the long drive home. The hope is that things will be magical. You have so many fun things planned. Go running on the beach with your beautiful wife (didn't even come close to happening). Spend quality time with each child. Watch the kids laugh, play and grow closer to each other. I should learn by now that things will never be like my perfect world I have created in my head. Whatever it was or it wasn't, memories were created and now they are forever mine. Like...
Carrying a breast pump through Hard Rock casino.
Putting Jo Jo's feet in the ocean for the first time.
Jake surfing and then being sick for the next 3 days.
Abby's face getting fried all except her eye lids. The only part of her face where sunscreen was applied.
Jumping over waves with Ally.
Watching the smile on Kade's face as he swam without fear in his Spiderman floaty.
Kylee sleeping on couch cushions in our room the last night.
The perfect weather. The week we are going home.
Of course there are all the memories that didn't happen. For now they stay in my head as hopes and dreams. But maybe that's how it's suppose to be. Maybe that keeps us coming back. Maybe it makes life bearable, something to look forward to. May God grant us the time to go back to the magical places where hopes and dreams can turn into memories that we can forever keep and forever cherish.
To my dear wife and children, I say I love you more than words can describe. Please know that I tried. Please know that there was so much more I wanted to give each of you. Jenette, I'm sorry I get so lost in my thoughts. Kylee, I'm sorry you are the nanny, but please know you are an angel. Abbz, I'm sorry we didn't complete your 4 things. Jake, I'm sorry sickness robbed you of catching a few more waves. Allz, I'm sorry we didn't eat at a fancy restaurant with the whole family. Kade, I'm sorry I'm not more patient, something I will work on. Fo Fo, I'm sorry I didn't dip your toes in the Pacific one more time. What I am not sorry for is that for a week we were all trapped together. Trapped in a far away place. Where life disappeared and all we had was each other. It was far from perfect but to me it was beautiful.
I am already dreaming of the time we can be together again in the warmth of the sun, watching the waves roll in, where time can stand still and for a few short moments it can just be us.
Until we meet again Carlsbad...
